I’ve been horribly off the last couple weeks. I don’t really know why, but… I don’t know, for awhile there, I was doing great, getting out of the house and working on getting better and then my motivation just left. Or maybe not my motivation but… I guess I legitimately felt GOOD for awhile and I don’t anymore and it’s just been so incredibly long since I had prolonged mania or anything even relatively close to it that it just feels so weird. I don’t know, I’m restless and bored but I don’t feel like doing anything. I can only concentrate on reading/watching stuff for so long but I can’t seem to write ANYTHING right now either so whaaat am I supposed to do with my time. 

I can’t decide if I’m “down” again because of how much social activity I’ve had or because I’m no longer being as social as I was over the last couple weeks. On one hand, every time I went out, I’d literally have a mini coma the next day to recover and it really wore me out, but the important part is that I DID it. It’s more than I’ve accomplished in months so maybe I’m feeling down again because I’m not keeping it up even though I know I can handle it. But I’m not being anti-social on purpose… I have literally nothing to do. Seeing everyone the week of OSSIA was super great but 98% of them, I don’t know how to approach like a normal friend anymore like “hey I haven’t spoken to you more than once in the last two years and this is crazy but let’s be BFFs”. Guh. 

What do people do without friends who live in the same country as them? I want to go see Avengers again but I’ll probably be going alone like a looooser. Which honestly doesn’t bother me at all, haha. WHAT EVEN IS THE POINT OF THIS POST, I DON’T KNOW. Just that I don’t feel good anymore and I don’t know how to fix it. I’m either still recovering from “hOLY SHIT I SPOKE TO PEOPLE FACE TO FACE” or I really want to keep talking to people face to face but have no opportunities.

I’ve got therapy on Wednesday so I guess I’ll have a chance to figure some stuff out soon. 

Also why does Wednesday even bother having a d, no one ever says the d. 

barackfuckingobama:

zeldea:

why cant americans just use celsius it’s so much easier to spell than feiehreirheineiheit

do you mean degrees of FREEDOM

have-you-seen-my-haggis:

So I just realised. A lot of people, when you say you have a friend on the internet, go “but you don’t know! They could be a middle aged man pretending to be a teenage girl!”

They dont know that most of these people are my RP partners.

And are teenage girls pretending to be middle aged men.

how to be a writer

• start to write something
• pause and read over what you have so far
• cringe
• backspace everything
• exit out of your computer
• cry on the floor